You can’t fight against time. The internet, however, wants to sell you the opposition to that statement. When I was younger, spending most of my day on YouTube, I remember seeing thumbnails of influencers of every sort selling you the “solution” to growing an audience at break neck speeds or how to produce content at a faster pace. All of those various techniques would cheat time itself just so a number gauging your global relevance could go up.Even at that age, I saw it as an absence of passion. Being an artist makes you hyper-aware of how long it takes to finish anything. Being able to catch onto trends with a well-produced piece was always expected of you on social media, yet it was never possible for me. It always took time.
This expectation to cheat time has only become worse under the advent of generative Large Language Models (LLMs), degrading the process of creation in its wake. To be anyone expected to meet a deadline now, you are made to cheat time by any means necessary. Need to respond to emails quicker? Google Gemini has you covered. Want to get a research project out of the way? Don’t worry, ChatGPT has your back. Need a flyer NOW? There are many generous image generation apps willing to create one specified for your needs immediately. Do not think for yourself, fight against time instead.
We are being sold on a contest that can’t be won. This persistent mentality is especially present in the creative workforce. Trying to enter it today, feels as if your superiors are asking you to enter the Indy 500 on foot. I’m expected to display an insane amount of skill that outshines what an LLM can pantomime.
So if I can’t cheat time right out of college, I’m left waiting for an opportunity to open up to take me where I am. At my lowest points, this outlook consumed me. I felt as if I was less of a creative force for not being able to meet the algorithm’s expectations of which art should be financially supported. “How could I possibly be asked to meet these standards?” I kept asking myself. These destructive thoughts blinded me and kept me from what I should be focusing on.
Over the course of my internship with Fourwind Films, my tumultuous relationship with time mellowed. My inner frustration with not becoming an instant professional was met with Justin Joseph Hall, a director who has spent the past 15 years of his life dedicated to a passion project. 15! A double digit number! Hall is well past ‘entry-level’ in his experience, along with every other skilled contributor that has teamed up with him to make this dream a reality. There are other creatives, both past and present, who have dedicated themselves in a similar manner. They dedicate themselves to work which is representative of their best skills, which have taken even longer to develop. The longer I allow that to sink in, the more I am filled with a melancholic yet joyful feeling. A thought that where I realize, to be recognized, I have to make the concept of time less daunting. It had to become my ally.
Everytime I’ve flipped through files of pictures depicting everyone I met during the production of this film, I think about how this is a moment captured as a part of a decade of work. The amount of time spent coordinating, traveling, repeating takes, editing, animating. It dwarfs the amount of time an LLM takes to make its own take on the moving picture, sure, but it’s like that for a reason. It is also representative of a team being considerate, making something the best it could, and displaying various skills at their best, all while attempting to avoid promoting wasteful snake oil.
If being friends with time means I have to miss multiple opportunities I wanted now, that means I have to become more comfortable with the idea that it wasn’t what I needed. What I need is to take time to build a portfolio I’m truly proud of. One I can share everywhere and tell everyone that, yes, I am the capable creative that’s a perfect fit for whatever team picks me up next. It takes years to be recognized. During that time, I should believe in myself and that time is truly on my side.
-written by Aliana Preciado Higgins