One of my first jobs after college was asking for money on the street for non-profits like Amnesty International and ecological causes. I was pretty good at it. I got a lot of large donations. But I knew I didn’t want it to be the rest of my life. I didn’t want to be a salesman. My father was a salesman for many years and he thought it was ok. I aspired to avoid this.

What I did want was to make films and to create stories I found were meaningful. So what I did was create media constantly. I just wanted good footage to assemble a story. After a little while I realized that I wasn’t satisfied with the media other people created, so I was like ok, I’ll have to go capture my own.

By Cat Tassini

“If you can think of literally anything else to do with your life, go do that.” This was the mantra that I heard many times during my first year of acting training. “You have to be obsessed with your character,” was another slogan, this time from my contemporary scene study teacher. As a nervous freshman in college, I took these words literally. Growing up, I had been enthusiastic about visual art, dance, theater, filmmaking, writing, music, and sports, but now I turned with laser-like focus to acting. Any time another desire entered my head, I felt agonizingly conflicted. I had auditioned and secured my place in the second most competitive undergraduate theater program in the country. Was I going to blow this opportunity by being unfocused and undisciplined? I was determined to give it my best shot. But I couldn’t keep all of my doubts — or passions — from creeping in.

I stuck it out for the two consecutive years at a professional acting studio required to graduate. However, once I had that under my belt I looked into other opportunities for learning. I ended up interning at a multidisciplinary art space in Brooklyn for credit. That was my introduction to the North Brooklyn DIY music and art scene, which indelibly molded my artistic perspective. It’s where I truly came of age. It felt like I had wandered into a creative wonderland—inspired, intimidated, and elated that I finally found a place that felt right. I even put up my own theater piece there, composing it with my theater troupe, and doing the sound, costume, and set design myself. It felt like I had arrived.

My time interning opened up my mind and I felt confident enough to keep exploring. By graduation, I had designed costumes for a short film, taken art direction and set design classes, studied directing and producing, interned for a special event production company, stage-managed a show, attained a minor in art history, studied abroad, and put up multiple original theater pieces.

However, once the anticlimactic reality of postgraduate life set in, I looked back on my many experiences and wondered whether they actually added up to anything cohesive and meaningful. It didn’t help that I graduated into the 2010 job market. It was easy to feel like all the effort I’d put into my undergraduate education didn’t amount to much of anything in the real world. As I wandered through postcollegiate disorientation, hopping from city to city, and trying out different jobs in and out of the entertainment industry, I felt weighed down by nagging doubts. Would I ever be good enough at anything if I couldn’t concentrate on one thing? Would I ever be able to support myself without a “day job?” Would I ever be able to get a day job outside of the service industry? I felt restless, but I still felt guilty about it.

These doubts still haunt me, but less so than when I was a bit younger and greener. I now have the knowledge and perspective of someone who has written, directed, and edited a body of work, screened short films at festivals and racked up years of experience working in film, television, and event production. What I didn’t realize before is that it’s common to bounce from department to department or take time off from one career to pursue another. It is also totally okay to take time off from filmmaking because you need to work a day job, care for a child or sick loved one, or take care of your own health. In a field as unstable and full of financial barriers as filmmaking, changes are inevitable. Managing your passion for your craft with real-world demands is a balancing act. As circumstances and priorities change, a career will inevitably go through any number of evolutions.

Multimedia is a constantly changing field, and one must make a conscious effort to keep up throughout one’s career. Along with that learning comes paying for classes, trading something you already know and are adept at, and learning on the job. If you’re trying to work your way up starting as a production assistant, it’s great to have multiple skillsets since you never know quite what you’ll end up doing. It is also valuable to have lots of skills in your back pocket to offer in exchange for someone else teaching you the skills you lack. A mentor of mine once described trading art direction work for an After Effects lesson. Finally, there is the practical reality that until you are locked into a union, if that’s the path you choose, it can be easier to get freelance work when there are more roles you can fill.

Now that I am directing my first feature, I can see how my varied experience has prepared me for this. It’s essential to be able to wear multiple hats in independent filmmaking. On a typical day, when working on my own work and freelance projects, I utilize some combination of the following: social media, graphic design, grant writing, crowdfunding, blogging, research, correspondence, scheduling, and video editing. These involve wildly different yet interconnected skill sets. On set, I’ve worked in the following departments: camera, sound, art, locations, wardrobe, makeup, transportation, and of course good ol’ fashioned general production assistance (PA). Having many tools in your toolbelt and a spirit of adventure makes you an asset to any production.

If there’s one thing I could tell my younger filmmaker self, I would say: don’t be afraid of having multiple interests. Embrace it! And don’t worry so much. Pursue knowledge for the pure love of learning, don’t try to force yourself into something because of its perceived market value. Something that you’re not sure about now could end up being one of your greatest assets in the future. “Follow your bliss,” as Joseph Campbell would say, and try not to be too preoccupied with how it will all turn out. Life doesn’t follow a linear path and that’s okay. Real life isn’t compressed into two hours and doesn’t have to follow the audience’s expectations for continuity of logic. Real life is messy and strange and beautiful in its own way.

Follow Cat Tassini on Instagram @disco_nap_art and check out her website. Follow her current project, a feature-length documentary about Trish Keenan, the visionary creative force behind the English experimental band Broadcast, on Instagram @echos_answer, Facebook, and Youtube.

If there are questions you want to be answered in a blog post, let us know at info@fourwindfilms.com or visit our website. Also, we work with a large, diverse community of crew and artists working in most aspects of the filmmaking process and are always happy to help make connections. And we are always building our community! Send us your work for review or feedback.

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